I feel the wind rush against my face. I feel the water splash and then I feel the weight of the bricks pulling me under. Tomorrow everyone will know, I let it all go. I failed to see that eventhough I thought I had nothing left to gain, I still had it all to lose.
And the sun rises again and shines across the tainted water. The sun rises again and tomorrow no one will know my name. Now that I've lost it all, now that I can't go on, I stand on the bottom of the lake watching the tainted dawn.
Tomorrow everyone will wonder why I did it. "He had so much going for him," that is what they'll say. But they just won't understand it, they weren't in my place. They don't know what it's like to lose everything and feel that all is lost. They don't know what it's like to feel that death is the only way for comfort to gain.
And the sun rises again and shines across the tainted water. The sun rises again and tomorrow no one will know my name. Now that I've lost it all, now that I can't go on, I stand on the bottom of the lake watching the tainted dawn.
If only someone had told me I had so much to live for. If only someone had told me there was someone to take away my pain. If only I had known that when I felt that all was lost, I could take it to the cross. If only someone had told me, I wouldn't be standing here feeling the water fill my lungs.
And the sun rises again and shines across the tainted water. When I open up my eye I'll be Hell. But now someone else feels they've hit rock bottom. Some one is on my ledge preparing to jump. They don't hear me screaming to stop them. And when the sun rises again on the morrow, they'll be at the bottom, watching the tainted dawn.
Copyright, Timm Morris, August 1, Y2k
